Five shots just fired in front of my apartment and the woman on the stoop just kept standing there lighting her cigg in the rain

I need to stop taking the D train.
What I used to love about it was that it travels over the Manhattan Bridge. It transcends subway and leaves the ground. Taking this bridge is one of the few times above ground may be favored over underground (I know my neighbors 3 blocks down hate that the S train comes out of it's hiding place and rumbles past their windows at night).
From over the water on the D train you can see the Statue of Liberty, The (gorgeous) Brooklyn Bridge, and the (breath-taking) Manhattan sky-line. I love that last part at night the best.
From your decent on either side, you can see clothes hung out to dry, museum-quality graffiti, and life going by. People coming and going from stores and movies, people biking other people's foods to stoops and front-doors.

I need to stop taking the D train.
Because it makes me reflect. I see these stereotypical symbols of New York City. I witness on my way to Jamba Juice sights that people purchase on post-cards, prints, and posters. I see life happening, and it makes me realize how little I've done in the past year.

I moved to NYC a year ago (next Wednesday) and I haven't moved closer to my actual goal to moving here.
When people ask "Why did you come to New York?" my answer is always "I needed a job". Which yes, is true. But I could have worked in Philly, Allentown, DC...anywhere slightly urban, really. But I chose to move somewhere where I knew no one. Yes, it is still near my parents (2 hours), but in all the places I mentioned, I would have been within walking distance of someone I knew since my childhood, if not birth. I didn't want that.

I came to NYC, knowing Ryan wouldn't be with me. I knew he would be in two years, but that I had two years to figure myself out. I played undergrad too safe (something I vocally admit to anyone who will listen. I regret my choice in schools immensely) and never really explored myself academically or career-wise. I have no idea what I want to do for a job, and I know people move around and change that all the time - but I wanted to come up with some idea during these two years. I wanted to figure out my strengths, my weaknessess, my skills, my talents ... and I have spent a year going to museums, teaching fourth grade, and shopping for clothes.

How does one force an epiphany?